I was told once by my 2nd year high school adviser that there’s only one dimension that I’m not good at. It’s about being a leader. Standing up for the class, making the class work well together to achieve a common goal, etc. I realized that I’m not really the type of leader who can lead a lot of people.
I’m the type who doesn’t know when and how to be angry at people when they mess up on the work assigned to them. I don’t know how to encourage or motivate groups of people but I can fairly motivate enough some few team members. In all honesty, I’m more of a worker, a follower. Someone who’d rather listen for guides or rules and stick to them in achieving certain work than really tell people to follow them.
And I think I can better lead a team when doing something artistic or creative, like plays, drama, “sabayang pagbigkas”, dancing, and even singing (albeit it’s not really my forte). Any group work like that really fires up my passion but being a leader of a class before doesn’t really suit me and I just encourage myself to perform my responsibility to the best of my abilities. If I was given a choice back then, I would have chosen to be the vice-president or something in the lower position just to get away from the top leadership rank.
I think being an assistant to someone in the top is something that I’m better suited for, but nobody can ever know. Neither do I, but I do know that I have been more effective in playing the second fiddle.
There are a couple of things that I love to do, but there are four that would really stand out.
I have started loving beats, drum beats to be specific, when we transferred in Digos City. From time to time I would create my own beats on any surface that I can get hold of while also tapping my feet at the same time. I really feel good doing it even when there’s no music. That unexplainable, overwhelming joy is really awesome. Someday, I will really take some formal lessons playing the drum set.
The first and undoubtedly my widely used talent that no one would disagree. I think my love for drumming stemmed out from this passion. After all, they’re interrelated. There’s still some things I can improve in my dancing skills but how I wish I have a place/room big enough to dance so I can practice what’s on my mind. I’m not really much of a choreographer but who knows how much I can improve myself if I have a small studio where I can practice.
I realized this when I was in high school. During that time, I was fond of attending mass everyday before going to school and when I listen to the priest’s homily, I would be mesmerized and create my own reflection afterwards. I would also share my own insights in the prayer meetings of our prayer group. Often times I would find myself discovering things that I never knew before which I would gladly share in the group.
I also discovered this passion in high school. I can still remember the first time I served as a reader. It was really nerve-wracking. I can see my school ID moving because of my heart’s loud beat because of nervousness. Little did I know it was the start of 4 years of serving as a reader in our school’s liturgical club. I would read the scriptures with all feelings and I would make eye contact to the people attending the mass. Because of that, I received one of the most wonderful praises in my entire life from a priest, “ang galing mo naman magbasa.” It happened during a Wednesday novena mass on which I read the 1st reading and responsorial psalm, which is quite rare since we’re normally tasked to do only one reading.
Except for dancing, I haven’t done any of these since time immemorial, but in the future I would love to do them all again at least once.